Pretending To Be Strong.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

9:18 PM

HIYEE. haHa. going for sports day now. WOOPEE.
this is the first time im online so early !
HAHA. GEE. so nervous.
and IM SOOOOOO TIRED !

PURPLE PURPLE PURPLE GO GO GO !! WE WILL WIN !!

613AM

o3o6 .

walau ! ydaY aFtErNooN wAs a bAd oNe FoR mE oKaYs ! ARGHS. i couLdNt takE iT qUicKly WeNt oFfLiNe tO wAtCh a bIt oF tV aNd WeNt bacK tO coM agaiN ! HAHA. LAME. dl O2JAM soNgS wHicH sucKs LikE sHiT ! soooooooo fucking slow ! DAMM. wAtChEd DOU YU II oN tV *screams* wHiLe i hAd diNnEr.. i tHiNk DOU YU I nIcEr ! HAHA. oNliNe aNd pLayEd O2JAM wItH KoRz wHo wiLl bE aWaY foR caMpiNg tHe NeXt o5 daYs oR sO ! SIGHS. HAHA. sLePt oNly aT 1ooAM ! i FeLt aWakE iN tHe MoRniNg bUt wHeN lEsSoNs sTaRtS ; i wAs haLf asLeEp ! HAHA. hAd eNg aNd wE dId FiLiNg aNd WeNt tHrU WS + aNotHeR nEw WS tO dO ! sIaNzHaLf. oHyA ; o5 ppL wErE aBseNt aNd i gUeSsEd iTs bEcaUsE oF tHe vIrUs goiNg oN ! yEaa. hAd pHy aNd i taLkEd tiLl gEt SHH bY cHeR ! WTH. HAHA. FeLt sooo sLeEpY aNd i wAsNt LiSteNiNg.. HAHA. tHeN wAs FrEe pErIoDs tiLl rEcEsS ! WEWE. cHaTtEd aRd aNd tHeN taLkEd wItH KuNtaT ! HEHE. pLayEd aT tHe voId dEcK bEcaUsE wE couLdNt WeNt uP tO cLaSs yEt.. aNd wE madE jIaWeN feLl ! AWWS. weNt bAcK aNd wAs FrEe leSsoNs agaiN ! HEHEHE. fucking haBeE mannnn ! lalala. cHaTtEd aNd LaMo aRd.. tHeN sUddeNly i sAw caL aNd i sHoUtEd soMetHiNg tO hiM ! HAHA. *eyes wide open* OMFG. tHeN wAs MT wHerE i kEpT taLkiNg tO jIaWeN aNd KuNtaT tiLl wE gOt scoLdEd couNtLeSs tiMeS aNd nEarLy hAd tO gO oUt oF cLaSs ! HAHA. *sticks tongue out* eMatHs wAs FrEe tOo bEcaUsE oNly o1 pErIoD ; sO cHeR dIdNt tEacH ! WEWE. tHeN MT rEmEdiaLs caNceLlEd ! WOOPEE. No reMeDiaL aNd i scReaMeD ! HAHA. weNt tO loT o1 foR luNcH aT LJS tHeN waLkEd aRd aNd tOoK NEOS wItH jIaWeN ; LipiNg ; XiNhUi ; zHiyiNg aNd sHi tiNg ! fReaKiNg fuNnY ! HAHA. aNd i hAd bLadDeR pRoBs LikE tT ! OMG. caMe hoMe aNd O2JAM wAs LaggY ! bUt aFtEr a LiL ; caN aLrEadY ! HEHE. bUt tHe eyEs wErE vErY dRy bEcaUsE oF tHe coNtAcT leNs ! sHoWerEd aNd pLayEd agaiN ! OMFG. hAd diNnEr aNd weNt bAcK tO coM tiLl 8ooPM.. wAtChEd tV aNd oNliNe tO pLaY O2JAM !

o3o7 .

sooooooooo worn out from all those cryings in the morning. and the day didnt get any better. yEaa. aLl i couLd dEscRibE tHe daY iS lousy. cHeM pErIod ; gOt tO kNoW soMetHiNg aNd iM sorry. i couldnt take it. tears just kept flowing and emotions just kept running through me. i felt so helpless and the heart was aching a little somehow. i couldnt mutter even a single word because those tears would start flowing again. he told me im not strong and i HAVE to learn how to be strong and control my emotions. YES. IM NOT STRONG ; IM REALLY NOT. AND IM AN EMOTIONAL FREAK. i let my emotions control me. sorry for being SO weak when i pretend that im strong. i wAs tRyiNg My bEsT tO hoLd oN bUt wHeN i sAw zHiyiNg wEePiNg ; i couLdNt coNtRoL aNyMorE.. pErHaPs ; i cRiEd a LiL moRe tHaN hEr.. beForE tT ; soMetHiNg haPpeNeD aNd zHiyiNg toLd mE soMetHiNg aFtEr tT.. i FeLt tT iM iN a wRoNg aNd toLd mYseLf tT i hAvE tO aPoLogIsE tO soMeoNe aNd i did it ! tHeN wAs eMatHs bUt wE dId aMatHs wS aNd haNd uP.. gEo ; dIdNt hAd tHe pReSeNtaTioN aNd FiNishEd uP tHe cHaPtEr beFoRe rEcEsS.. tHeN wAs eNg wHerE wE gOt bAcK CT rEsuLtS aNd MaRkEd oUr WoRk.. i FeLt really sLeEpY ! my contact lens were SO dried that the vision was SO blur. i couLdNt coNceNtRatE oN mY noVeL ; aLl i jUsT waNtEd wAs a NaP.. aMatHs ; weNt tHrU WS aNd LeaRnT nEw sTuFfS.. weNt FoR luNcH 15 MiNs eAriLeR aNd uP tO haLl.. todaY PA wAs reLeAsEd eArLy aFtEr tHe cLaSs coMmItTeE tHiNg.. aLl oF us caLlEd oUr PaReNtS aNd wE weNt tO tHe teMpLe aT BB dRiviNg ceNtRe bUt wE aLigHtEd aT tHe wrong bUs sToP wHicH madE us waLkEd a big rouNd wHeN tHe wEatHeR wAs super fucking hoT ! yEaa. weNt tO wEsTmaLl aNd waLkEd aRd.. saT iN tHe LiBraRy aNd taLkEd tO LipiNg.. seNt zHiyiNg tO oVeRhEaD bRidgE.. weNt tO bUy baTt aNd hEaD tO bPp wItH LipiNg aFtEr bIddiNg gOodbyEe tO tHe rEsT.. boUgHt sNacKs foR tMl aNd hEaD hoMe MuNcHiNg oN tHe sNacK.. caMe oNliNe aNd pLayEd a bIt oF O2JAM wItH tHe coNtAcT leNs SO dryyyyyyyyyy ! ARGHS. sHoWerEd ; wAtChEd tV wHiLe i hAd diNnEr + doiNg cRoSswoRd pUzZeL + sMs-iNg.. aFtEr mY sHoW ; caMe oNliNe.. im feeling so xhausted. my eyes couldnt hold on any longer. i just pray and hope that EVERYTHING would turn out great for tomorrow sports day ! a sAd tHiNg iS ; xpReSs yUsRi wont bE ruNniNg / hE mIgHt NoT eVeN coMe bEcaUsE hE`s iLl ! SIGHS. wE nEaRly WaNtEd tO wItHdRaW fRoM tHe rAcE.. wiLl bRiNg mY caMeRa tMl aNd sNaPsHoT ! aNd iTs goiNg tO bE a very LoNg daY tMl ; mIgHt oNly bE hoMe aT 9oo+PM ! pLuS ; i NeEd tO sTudY foR eMatHs rEtEsT wHicH iS heLd oN tHuRs ! SIGHS. *yawns and waves byee*

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( edited )

In the years to come
Will you think about these moments that we shared
In the years to come
Are you gonna think it over
And how we lived each day with no regrets

( will you still remember me ? )

Nothing lasts forever though we want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you

( perhaps , by the time comes you would have forgotten me )

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in you heart
Is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts
Is the only way now for you and me
Though its the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
'Coz true love never dies

( saying goodbye to you is the hardest thing & there`s no true love in this world )

In a year from now
Maybe there'll be things we'll wish we never said
In a year from now
Maybe we'll see each other
Standing on the same street corner, no regrets

( once you are gone , will i get to see you again ? )

Each and every end is always written in the stars
If only I could stop the world, I'd make this last

( IF i could only have more courage to smile to you )

Sometimes goodbye (sometimes goodbye), though it hurts in you heart
Is the only way for destiny (is the only way for destiny)
Sometimes goodbye (sometimes goodbye), though it hurts
Is the only way now for you and me (is the only way for you and me)
Though its the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye (so say goodbye)
But don't you cry
'Coz true love never dies

( i fear for your departure. i fear for changes. i fear that i will cry )

And when you need my arms to run into
I'll come for you
Nothing will ever change the way I feel

Sometimes goodbye (sometimes goodbye), though it hurts in you heart
Is the only way for destiny (is the only way for destiny)
Sometimes goodbye (sometimes goodbye), though it hurts
Is the only way now for you and me (is the only way for you and me)
Though its the hardest thing to say
I'll missing your lovin' every day
So say goodbye
But don't you cry

Because a true love never dies

( SO WRONG , SO WRONG ! )