Tuesday, February 16, 2016 11:22 PM
"Honestly, are you attracted to me?"I was asked this question (on v day) and I actually missed the chance to answer it. That's how I felt after the timing to answer the question or not passed. But it felt like God was giving me another chance when you asked if I have anything to say. I plucked up my courage and kinda confessed.. okay, confessed.
The feeling was exactly how I felt like when I finished my last exam paper. The heart felt like it was cleared from all the congestion. And its like I don't need to care anymore! Whether you feel the same way or not, its all up to you. That's bff wise words btw.
When I said you actually knew how I felt right.. you said you wanted to hear from me instead of guessing... But you know what... (no actually you don't. you don't know anything) I'm the only one left at the guessing stage and is actually even more confused? I don't know if I'm overthinking... Though you said you were more happy than shocked to see me that day and you wrote some other stuffs... But it didn't gave me the clear answer on whether you are on the same route as me or not.
I don't know. All of the sudden it seems like confessing was a bad choice. I have to be on the are-you-sick-of-me and will-you-just-stop-texting-me-all-of-the-sudden alert all the time. And it fucking sucks. I freaking hate the blue ticks and no reply. I had to be so thick skin and text you again then you would reply me again? I f-ing hate that side of me. F-ing hate it ttm. I had to constantly tell myself that you have no obligations to reply me simply because I'm just your regular friend.
I told myself today to exercise control of my feelings! I really have to else things are gonna be so hurtful if anything happens.................................
This whole thing sucks so so so badly............ It sucks when you're the one who have more feelings....
):