Sunday, February 21, 2010 8:39 PM
I read this from a tumblr - 'Tears are made of 10% water and 90% heartache(?)' Cant really remember what's the word for 90% but I find it so true.
Im so glad there's this thing called 'blog'. Because when I cant find anyone to pour my sorrows to, it will be here. Here for me to say anything I want to make myself feeel better.
Today... is the most depressing day ever since I arrived here. Today.. is the first time I find myself in tears ever since I arrived here. I didnt foresee any of these but... ya. I feel so tight inside and it just exploded, I guess. :|
Its really true that the more things you keep inside, the worst it gets. But you know.. sometimes you really really want to say them out but somehow it doesnt seems right. Like how I typed those out but backspace them in the end. Hmm.
And its kinda pathetic where you go through all the effort and trouble to cook and you end up eating by yourself. HA! I didnt foresee this too. It makes me feel so angry and upset at the same time and I dont think I ever want to cook again. Why must I do that when this kind of thing happens? Its like Im living on my own. Heck no, I AM living on my own. Which made me recalled you telling me that you might be going back. And that's so so so much better because one, I can survive even without you and two, I dont have to see and hear stuffs that are so freaking irritating. So, go back by all means. I dont care.!
Seriously, I dont know wtf is happening these few weeks. Its so intense and its making me feel even more tired than Im already is. I dont know where to find comfort anymore. I dont know how to handle them. I just feel like stopping the time so all these would stop too. Because Im being torn apart. I really miss my happy dose of people so so much. Its like they give off this happy cells naturally. The moment you are beside them, those happy cells will enter you. I want those happy cells. I want to laugh my heart off till my throat or stomach hurts. I want to go to sleep with a smile on my face. I want to have happy things as memories. I want to go back home........ ):
Why does it seems like history is repeating itself again?
And the last thing to do is to cry myself to sleep because its the only way I can find comfort now since Im here alone facing everything...
Things will be fine, they will.. right?