Thursday, August 17, 2006 11:56 PM
its just a month more from now. )(: " Im feeling exceedingly tired. I dont have enough sleep. " I shouted.
" My back aches like antyhing. " I exclaimed.
" My thumb is suffering. It cannot bend back or tear a piece of thin plastic wrapper. I cant write properly. The pain is too much." I screamed and squealed with tears choking as I spoke.
Yet , no one cares. No one. Please dont say you do.
Because I dont wanna hear anymore lies. I have no more strength to believe.
im sorry if the below context offend anyone.
Things are changing till Im . . . out of words. I dont know what`s happening to my friends and me ? I feel that we are difting apart. What`s more when Im not around ? HAHA. i cant imagine for the worst man . . I dont know if Im thinking too much or what. Its like , they are starting to dislike me again. Dislike me of my way of behaving ; my way of talking and etc.
Thinking back , it was like last year (?) that i told someone about this. And as time passed , I knew I had to tell the rest. Im sorry yet thankful to Szehui. Sorry for letting you be the first one to frown over this news and bring your more frowns despite knowing you are having enough of them. This time round , Im repeating the same thing on a different person. And that`s Liping. Sorry too. I know are you freting over your studies yet I still putting weight onto you. But nevertheless , Thank You !
Today , Im really sorry. So sorry that I felt that Im more bitchy than before. I know Im in a wrong to hide you in the dark. Since this has happened , I chose to admit then continue lying. Because I dont want to cause more hurts. However , I somehow feel more relieved. Whenever , you behaved that way , it breaks my heart and make me wanna tear all over again. Please brace youself. Its now up to God how this will go. Im prepared to face the worst , I guess.
Infatuations and Infatuations. Crushes and Crushes. Bad or Good. I will remember each and every one of them.
I can never be confident in myself. I can never live each day with no regrets. Because Im a failure in being a human being , a girl who just think for herself and say but do nothing.
I just wanna let my dear ones know , that I wish I could learn how to treasure and then love you all more. I really want to. But I see nothing. Im falling all over again. But I wont tear. I will be strong. Im fine. Im really fine. I just need time to adapt. (:
Please Please remember me my dear ones.
Remember my smile and that always insane girl image.
Remember my words and actions that made you laughed.
(:
The hardest word to say is a REAL goodbye to your love ones.