WHY MUST GOD GIVE ME THIS KIND OF FEELINGS ?

Friday, February 17, 2006

7:54 PM

o214 .

im definately NOT feeling good. im laughing at my ownself for being in this state. SO PATHETIC.

MaNagEd tO bLog ydaY nIgHt aNd hEaD tO sLeEp.. school somehow SUCKS today ! and i didnt have a mood to actually study ! pErHaPs ; iM troubled. hAd cHeM pErIoDs aNd tOoK bAcK tEsT paPeR.. weNt tHrU aNs aNd sTaRtEd taLkiNg aLl tHe WaY ! tHeN wAs eMatHs aNd i toLd mYseLf " concentrate on studies and DONT think of about that matter now. " yEaa. aNd i coMpLetEd wHerE zHiyiNg wAs aLsO doiNg tHe woRk qUiEtLy.. gEo pErIoD wAs aLrIgHt ; aNd MaNagEd tO taLk tO zHiyiNg aBt soMe sTuFfS.. SIGHS. weNt FoR rEcEsS aNd yEaa. i noted number 18. weNt FoR eNg aNd dId TYS + WS.. rEadiNg wAs LikE sLeEpiNg pErIoD ! soooooo sianz ! NeEd tO pUrcHasE aNotHeR nEw sToRybOoK ! iM leFt wItH o1 cHaPtEr oNly ! aNgeLa ; gOt aNy nIcE sToRybOoK tO leNt ? HAHA. eNdEd sChOoL wItH aMatHs aNd gOt bAcK mY tEsT wHerE i oNly pAssEd bY o2 MaRkS eH ! sIaNzHaLf. weNt FoR luNcH aNd LoUiS MadE mE weNt LOL wHeN i tExtEd wItH hiM ! weNt bAcK tO cLaSs aNd LeNt tHe gEos NotEs tO hiM.. weNt tO loT o1 wItH them aNd zHiyiNg scoLdEd mE bEcaUsE oF
him ! SIGHS. sorry. boUgHt fOoD&dRiNk aNd WeNt tO foOd cuLtUrE aNd saT dowN tO cHaT.. waLkEd a LiL wHiLe aNd hEaD hoMe wItH tHe sHouLdErS soooooo fuLl oF burdens ; problems aNd stress ! AHHHHHH. *stabs ownself* rEstEd aNd uNpackEd sTuFfS.. tHeN sHoWerEd aNd oNliNe ! im sooooooooooooooooo glad that my dear pig came online and initiate a conversation with me where i just poured all my sorrows and just more sorrows out to her. im soooooooooooooo glad that i have her with me. after the conversation ; i feel so much better. ITS TRUE. I SWEAR. without her ; im think i WILL just drop dead after hanging on for like few days more with those burdens that`s pulling me down and making me heavy ? she really know me inside out. MUACKS. hAd o2 sLicEs oF pIzzA aNd o2 cHicKeN wiNgS foR diNnEr.. aNd tT`s iT ! IM FULL. yEaa. SIGHS. dId soMe sChOoLwoRk aNd wAtChEd tV.. caMe oNliNe aFtEr tHe sHoW aNd kEpT hEaRiNg mY bLog soNg ! HEHE. WEWE. mY sure-to-laugh sHoW iS bAcK ! HOHOHO. *jumps and jumps*



i love you , you and you ! most importantly , i love love love them !! ( its been so long since i said this )

o215 .

what a morning i had ! SIGHS. hAd aMatHs FiRsT aNd pHy wAs F-R-E-E ! HEHEHE. *whole class jumps and screams* tHaT F cHeR iS sIcK ! WEWE. LiSteNeD tO mUsIc aNd LearNt cHiNesE CMT aT tHe saMe tiMe + coMpLetEd soMe sTuFfS.. tHeN wAs SS wHerE wE dId eSsaY qNs aNd WeNt FoR rEcEsS ! damm huNgRy !! HAHA. gEo wAs aLrIgHt bUt gOt pReseNtaTioN nExT daY ! x( ARGHS. yEaa. aNd wE hAd tHiS sTupId fiRe dRiLl tHiNg aNd MadE uS mIssEd eNg ! WOOPEE. tHe wHoLe sChOoL tOoK tHeIr owN sWeEt tiMe tO gatHeR aT tHe voId dEcK aNd tHe cHeRs MarkEd aTteNdeNcE ! tHeN wE weNt bAcK tO cLaSs ! dotDOT. No cHeR caMe aNd askEd oUr cLaSs tO sTaNd aNd walau eH ! MiSsEd tHe cHaNcE ! F. hAd eMatHs tEsT aNd dIdNt rEaLly kNoW hoW tO dO.. weNt tO voId dEcK aNd waItEd FoR iNsTrUcTioNs gIveN.. i noted number 18. cLaSs wAs bEiNg sEpRatEd ! haLf weNt tO liang court aNd tHe otHeR ; funan IT mall ! feLt sLeEpY iNsIdE tHe bUs aNd gAvE XiNhUi a hUg ! HA. MAD. hAd LuNcH aT MAC wItH a gRp oF gUrX aNd MdMrosNaH.. weNt tO cLaRkEqUaY aNd gAvE oUt tHe goLdeN rIbBoNs ! aNd i caN couNt hoW mUcH i gAvE ; FIVE PROUD GOLDEN RIBBONS !! HAHA. LOL. FeLt sooooooooo tIrEd aFtEr tHe wHoLe daMm tHiNg ! ARGHS. rEaChEd sChOoL aT 7ooAM ! HAHAHA. oNly them wiLl laUghEd ! bEcaUsE tHe sKy LoOkEd LikE 7ooAM ! hAd weNjiE tO aCcoMpaNy mE mOsT oF tHe joUrNeY hoMe.. yEaa. hAd diNnEr aNd sHoWerEd.. wAtChEd 3o MiNs oF tV aNd sTudiEd FoR cHiNesE CMT tiLl 915PM.. O-N-L-I-N-E tiLl mY sHoW sTaRtS.. feLl asLeEp aFtEr tHe sHoW eNdEd ! im too tired.

i lose control still.

o216 .

HABEE BDAY JOVEAN !!

HABEE BDAY EVELYN !!

sighs. hAd cHiNesE CMT foR aN hoUr eArLy iN tHe MoRniNg aNd iT wAs aLrIgHt lahz.. tHeN wAs eNg FoR oNly o1 pErIoD ! weNt tHrU WS aNd wAs eMatHs wHerE wE dId boriNg sTuFfS ! *yawns* weNt FoR rEcEsS aNd atE ! hoW " woNdErFuL " iT iS ; botH oF tHeM aPpEaRiNg aT tHe saMe tiMe aNd pLacE ! WTH. weNt bAcK foR aMatHs bUt cHeR dIdNt caMe aNd wE dId o3 qNs.. tHeN MT likE sHiT ! CDP gOt tO sTaNd uP bEcaUsE iM TOO qUieT aNd i couLdNt aNsWeR tHe qNs ! WTF. qUieT aLsO wRoNg ! NoIsY aLsO wRoNg ! FUCK THE SHIT UP ! YES. I THINK NARAIN SUCKS BIG TIME !! eVeN saId bAd sTuFfS aBt ppL rEligioN ! WTF. weNt tO sIt aT tHe LvL o1 tabLeS aNd i FeLt sooooooooooo sLeEpY ! ARGHS. weNt foR SS rEmEdiaL wHicH iS nO usE ! weNt tO bPp wItH them tiLl 43oPM aNd hEaD hoMe.. sHoWerEd aNd oNliNe.. SIGHS. weNt tO caTcH soMe sLeEp aNd wOkE uP wItH i-dont-know-how-to-describe tHe MoOd.. hAd diNnEr aNd weNt bAcK tO sTudY foR o3 hoUrS oN gEo aNd sS ! fucking haRd oKaYs ! wAtChEd aN hoUr tV aNd oNliNe wItH a sToMacHe wHicH iS a sigN tT iM noT rEadY foR mY xaMs tMl bEcaUsE iM nErVoUs.. tHerEfoRe ; sToMacHe ! sIaNzHaLf. oFfLiNe aNd couLdNt takE iT ; hEaD iNtO a deep sLeEp ! SIGHS.

back to square one.

o217 .

tHe aLarM raNg tO 6ooAM !! bUt sLePt FoR aN xTra 1o MiNs beForE i sTudY foR CMT.. gOt rEadY foR sChOoL aNd tHe waLk tO sChOoL wAs ; quiet.. i kEpT meMoRisiNg aS maNy sTuFfS i couLd.. coMmoN tEsT sTaRtEd aNd AHHHH ! damm nErVoUs aNd iM fear oF mentalblock !! HAHA. aFtEr rEadiNg SS tHe qNs ; WAHAHAHA. *smile with relief* i kNoW hoW tO dO ! HEHE. sTaRtEd gEo aNd coMpLetEd iT iN 15 MiNs ! OMFG. caNt beLiEvE oKaYs.. tHeN dId SS aNd cHeckEd My aNs tHrEe tiMeS.. wAs acTuaLly tRyiNg tO wAsTe tiMe lahz.. HAHA. aFtEr eVeRytHiNg eNdEd ; cHeckEd aNs aNd iM rIgHt ! HEHE. hAd FrEe pErIoD foR eMatHs aNd i WeNt tO cHaT wItH jIaWeN aNd aIsYaH aBt soMe fucking aSshoLe sTuFfS.. SIGHS. *frowns* tHeN wAs MT wHerE i saT wItH jIaWeN aNd wE kEpT taLkiNg aNd LaUgHiNg !! HAHAHA. weNt tO wAsHrooM aNd iT wAs sUpEr uNlucKy !! hAd My fReaKiNg pErIoD !! WTF. dIdNt hAvE tHe MoOd eH.. sIaNzHaLf. aMatHs wAs fReE tOo aNd i cHaTtEd wItH tHe o2 oF tHeM agaiN.. yEaa. eNg wAs jUsT goiNg tHrU woRk aNd sChOoL eNdEd !! HABEE MOMENTS. saT iN tHe caNtEeN foR aN hoUr + wItH jIaWeN ; XiNhUi aNd LipiNg.. wE pRaNkEd caLl a LoT oF ppL wItH XiNhUi sPoiLt pHoNe aNd kEpT laUgHiNg LikE sHiT !! HAHA. bEcaUsE o1 gUy wAs tHerE saYiNg wei ( hello in chinese ) aNd tHe FreNs aRd tT gUy wAs LaUgHiNg tOo ! HAHA. tHeN caLlEd hillme aNd wAs soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo habee ! AHH. *silly smiles* jIaWeN aNd i SUPER HABEE oKaYs ! HAHAHAHAHA. OMHY. caNt sToP sMiLiNg !! HEHE. weNt tO bLoW aIrcoN aT tHe CO rooM aNd WeNt uP tO haLl foR NYAA sTuFfS.. weNt FoR tHe xcHaNgE CCA aNd gOt scoLdEd tHe MoMeNt tHe iN-cHargE caMe iN.. sHe kEpT caLliNg tHe o4 oF uS ! WTH. tHeN gOt soMe FuNnY sTuFfS haPpeNeD aNd wE laUgHeD oFf oUr hEaDs !! HAHA. tHe WEWE gUy sUddeNly askEd LipiNg ; " i kNoW yoU mehz ? " tHeN LipiNg sHakEd hEr hEaD.. HAHA. aNd tHe WEWE gUy kEpT taKiNg oUr pIcS !! tWicE soMeMorE.. tHeN heLpEd jIaWeN takE soMetHiNg.. yEaa. weNt bAcK tO haLl foR hoUsE mEeTiNg tHeN weNt tO voId dEcK.. couldnt take off ! waLkEd tO loT o1 aNd sHoEs wErE wEt bEcaUsE iT wAs fLoodEd ! ARGHS. boUgHt dRiNk aNd FoOd.. waLkEd o1 rouNd aNd hEaD hoMe wItH LipiNg wHerE i MadE hEr LaUghEd ! yEaa. *twist* oNliNe aNd bLoggEd ! mIgHt bLog LatEr agaiN aBt soMe sAd sTuFfS.. yEaa. SIGHS. sooooo fucking waT ! ARGHS.

decisions of mine kept changing.