Friday, September 16, 2005 11:03 PM
o914 .*hearts melt* i saT bEsIdE tHe cute guy agaiN ! tHoUgH iTs NoT tHe saMe sEaT oN tHe bUs bUt sTiLl coNsIdEr bEsIdE pLuS ; i hEaRd his voIcE toDaY !! WEWE. him aNd mE sToOd uP aT tHe saMe tiMe wHeN wE hAd tO aLIgHt eH !! HOHO. aNd tHeRe wAs EYE CONTACT !! eMatHs wAs FiRsT lEsSoN aNd lEarNt NeW sTuFfs.. sHarEd tB.. tHe hEaDacHe wAs tooo hEaVy FoR mE tO takE aNd atE tHe MediciNe ! HAHA. FeLt bEtTeR aFtEr tT.. *smiles and jumps* tHeN wAs eNg.. gOt bAcK xposItioN aNd i gOt oNly 18 / 3o eH ! iBaIdaH soMeMoRe saY gOoD ! pUkE mannnnnnnn.. MT lEssoN ; dId LeTtEr wRiTiNg tEsT.. dIdNt pIckEd tHe FoRmaL oNe bEcaUsE aLl tHe FoRmaT foRgEt aLrEaDy.. HAHA. weNt FoR rEcEsS.. aFtEr bUyiNg dRiNk ; jIaWeN aNd mE waLkEd aRd tO fiNd tT sO caLl haNdsoMe gUy.. tHe FiRsT tHiNg jIaWeN saId wAs " hE gOt bUtT ! " aNd i WeNt HAHAHA ! yoLkwHyE toLd uS aBt tT gUy aNd wE weNt yUcKs ! wE sToOd tHeRe aNd kEpT loOkiNg aT ppL buM ! walau eH ! jIaWeN saId doNt NeEd sEe MiNe sUrE kNoW doNt hAvE aNy bUtT ! HAHA. wHiLe sItTiNg aT tHe HaLl ; i wAs LikE waItiNg FoR tHe cute guy tO coMe uP eH ! gEo pErIoD ; dId NtH likE tT ! couLdNt uNdErsTaNd joHaN`s LeSsoN ! LALA ~ pHy ; gOt bAcK paPeR aNd i sHoUtEd tO aMy tHe MoMeNt i gOt tHe papEr bEcaUsE i iMpRovEd a LoT mannnnn.. weNt tHrU coRrEcTioNs aNd tHeN wAs aMatHs.. copiEd hWk aNs aNd dEcIdEd tO gO hoMe aNd rEdO mYseLf.. HAHA. cHaTtEd wItH aMy.. weNt FoR luNcH bReaK.. FeLt daMm huNgRy !! i wAs sTraViNg LikE heLl tiLl i gOt No MoOd tO sTudY ! waLkEd aRd aNd wAs LikE tHiNkiNg wHetHeR tO gO foR tHe rEhEaRsaL.. sAw aNgeLa aNd sHe LikE gO CO sEe eH ! iN tHe eNd ; WeNt FoR tHe rEhEaRsaL aNd CHEY ! oNly pHoTotaKiNg aNd i kepT cRaPpiNg wItH jIaWeN.. wE laUghEd tiLl sIaO.. weNt waLkiNg aRd aNd sEe haNdsoMe gUyS ! HAHA. wHiLe taKiNg pHoTo ; daMm FuNnY ! LeNgFeI saId haMtaRo aNd i WeNt LaUgHiNg !! waLkEd aNd sLacK foR hoUrS aT cO.. dUriNg bReaK ; weNt oUt aNd bUy FoOd.. HAHA. tHe soUr pLaMs wErE nIcE eH ! waLkEd aRd agaiN aNd saT dowN aT caNtEeN aNd cHaTtEd.. oNly 3o MiNs tHeN weNt tO pRactIcE.. LipiNg toLd mE soMeThiNg aNd i FeLt a soUr FeeLiNg iN mY hEaRt ! NONONONO. i caNt FeEl tT waY ! aNyWaY ; i gUeSs iTs oNly infatuation ! yEaa. iT iS !! weNt tO loT o1 wItH tHe uSuaL o3 ppL aNd waLkEd.. hUrRiEd tO tHe TaXisTaNd bUt tHe PJC guy wAsNt tHerE !! sobSOB. saT 19o aNd pAssEd bY ; aLsO doNt hAvE !! ARGHS. rEaChEd hoMe aT 7oo aNd sHoWerEd.. caMe oNliNe aNd hAd diNnEr aT 745.. FeLt huNgRy bUt NtH wAs nIcE ! cHaTtEd wItH szEhUi aNd sHe kNoW wHo`s tHe cute guy ! hEys. doNt teLl aNgeLa wHo`s tHe cute guy eH ! bEcaUsE sHe sUrE 1oo % doNt kNoW wHo`s tT.. doNt wAstE uR bReatHe !! WAHAHAHA. szEhUi saId soMetHiNg aNd i iMmEdIaTeLy saId No.. SIGHS. aFtEr tHosE cHaTtiNgs ; tHeN wAtChEd tV aNd WeNt tO sLeEp FoR aN hoUr.. i NeVeR feLt tT tIrEd BeFoRe aNd tHe hEaD wAs hEaVy.. wOkE uP aT 11oo aNd FoRcEd MyseLf tO sTaY aWakE.. weNt tO sLeEp iMmEdIaTeLy aFtEr My sHoW finishEd..
o915 .
bRoUgHt a LigHt MoOd tO sChOoL aNd i tHoUgHt i wouLd bE oKaYs aFtEr aLl tHosE haPpeNiNgS eSp tHe PaSt o2 daYs.. cute guy saT bEhiNd bEhiNd mE iN tHe bUs tOdaY.. iM aFraId tT sEeiNg him eVeRydaY oN tHe saMe bUs aNd tiMe wouLd turnEd oUt tO bE a haBiT.. SIGHS. aNd oNcE iT iS ; i caN nO loNgEr gEt oUt oF iT.. yEaa. wAs eNg FiRsT aNd pAssEd tHosE nUtS tO aMy.. botH oF uS kEpT tHiNkiNg oF foOd aNd pLaNnEd tO eaT MAC aFtEr sChOoL togEtHeR.. yumYUM. atE o1 oF tHe NoUgUrTs aNd weNt OMG ! taLkEd aBt IPW pReSeNtaTioN aNd bLaHs.. rEcEivEd a MeSsagE froM hiM tHeN wAs eMatHs.. dId LoTs oF qNs aNd i WeNt boNkErS !! tHeN wAs gEo ; iT sUcKs oKaYs.. joHaN sEeMs tO zheng dui wo eH ! WTF. aNd iBadaH kEpT laUgHiNg ! FoR wAt rEasoN ; wE doNt kNoW.. tHeN i oNly WaNt tO wRitE dowN hWk tHeN johaN saId wHy arE yoU doiNg MatHs !? FUCK lahz.. WeNt FoR rEcEsS aNd atE.. kEpT lOoKiNg aT tHe cute guy ! HAHA. mY mOoD sTaRtEd tO weNt dowN !! i dIdNt kNoW wHy.. siNcE ydaY ; i gOt tO kNoW tT tHeRe`s sEcReTs bEtWeeN tHeM i weNt soooooo wEiRd !! AHH. i toLd LipiNg tT i doNt waNt tO mEssagE hiM aNyMorE.. aNd i rEaLly hopE i meant iT.. toLd jIaWeN NoT tO iNfaTuaTe aNyoNe bEcaUsE tHe FeeLiNg iS tErRibLe ! jUsT sooooooooooo TERRIBLE ! *screams top of voice* tHeN wAs aMatHs.. WeNt tHrU soMe qNs aNd iTs oBvioUs tT mRsLiM wAs xpLodiNg ! HA. tHeN rEadiNg ; sUcKs lahz.. wHerE gOt cHeR gO aNd puLlEd sTudeNts cHaIr wHeN tHeY oNly rOcK tHe cHaIr ! F tHeM !! joHaN doEs iT oKaYs !! FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. tHeN wAs cHeM.. tHe tEsT qUitE haRd bEcaUsE i dIdNt rEaLly sTudiEd ! yEaa. mY fauLt.. tHeN wAs pHy.. i wAsNt iN aNy MoOd tO sTudY ! i toLd kEitH tHe saMe tHiNg i toLd jIaWeN aNd hE weNt HAHAHA ! bEcaUsE hE kNoWs waTs goiNg oN tO mE.. aNd hE kEpT oN saYiNg tHe WoRd infatuation !! AHH. i eVeN aSkEd hoW tO gEt rId oF tHe FeeLiNg.. i really rEgRetTeD mannnnnnnn.. sobsSOBS. atE mEdiciNe dowN aNd copiEd NotEs.. sTayEd bAcK foR 1o MiNs bEcaUsE ppL atE iN cLaSs !! ARGHS. sEe oUr cLaSs pHoToS aNd boUgHt o3 ! HOHOHO. tHeN weNt oFf wItH aMy tO haVe MAC aNd iT wAs daMm HOT !! weNt hoMe aLoNe.. rEaChEd hoMe ; aLsO sooooooooo HOT !! pLayEd YQ aNd sHoWerEd.. dId botH matHs hWk aNd wHiLe wAtChiNg tV.. caMe oNliNe aNd MuM askEd mE iF iM goiNg USA a NoT.. i FeLt soooooooo fRusTratEd aNd kEpT oN sayiNg doNt kNoW ! i rEaLly gOt No idEa ! i rEaLly doNt hAvE ! PLS. doNt FoRcE aN aNs oUt oF mE.. sHe kEpT asKiNg waT i waNt tO bE wHeN i FiNishEd sChOoL.. i NeEd tO gIvE tHe aNs bY tHe end of this month !! WHY. wHy soooooooooooooooooooooooooo fAsT ?! sHe caRriEd oN sayiNg WaT i rEaChEd tHerE caN lEarN dRiviNg aLrEaDy bEcaUsE iM aLrEadY 16 yRs oLd aNd i CaN dRivE wHeN iM bAcK iN sPorE ! bUt . . tHiS isNt WhaT i waNt ! aNd iTs coNfirM tT paPa isNt gOiNg !! sobSOB. dL soNgS aNd cHaNgEd tHiNgS iN mY bLog.. hAd a cHaT wItH szEhUi aNd wE likE weNt . .
o916 .
HABEE BDAY DEAREST YUWANNA !!
wOkE uP bEforE tHe aLarM raNg oFf.. tHeN sHoWerEd qUicKly bEcaUsE iM aFraId tT MuM wiLl bE latE foR woRk ; iN tHe eNd i wAs eaRly.. weNt oUt oF tHe hoUsE wItH MuM.. heLpEd caRry sTuFf tOo.. sEe ; iM sooooooooooo gOoD ! WAHAHA. iT raiNeD wHeN i madE mY wAy tO bP iNtErcHaNgE.. i tHoUgHt cute guy wAs tHerE.. bUt sAw him aNd eVeN saT bEhiNd him !! HAHA. rEsT mY eyEs aNd tHe hEaDacHe caMe bAcK agaiN !! ARGHS. sTaRtEd aSkiNg MatHs qNs aNd yEs !! i doNe aLl mY hWk FiNaLly !! WEWE. *smiles happily* tHeN wAs sS fiRsT ; weNt tHrU SBQ xaM paPeR aNd LearNt NeW sTuFfS.. tHeN wAs aMatHs.. gOt wS tO dO aNd iTs 1o qNs oF facToR tHeRoM ( spelling ) oKaYs ! bUt ; i eNjoyEd doiNg iT wItH tHe heLp oF aMy.. coMpLetEd o8 qNs aNd WeNt FoR pE.. sEe tHeM pLay fLooRbaLl aNd wE weNt oFf FoR rEcEsS 1o MiNs eAriLeR.. tHeN wAs eNg.. NeEd tO dO sTupId MagaziNe coMpO soMeThiNg LikE tT ! sUcKs mannnnnn.. eMatHs ; dId NtH bEcaUsE i aLrEadY doNe tHe hWk aNd i wAs sooooooooooo FreaKiNg borEd !! weNt FoR luNcH bReaK aNd tHeN waLkEd aRd.. weNt tO haLl foR tHe rEhEaRsaL aT 23o aNd tHeY aRe sTupId !! MadE uS waIt FoR o3 + hoUrS tHerE aNd i wAs gEtTiNg soooooooooooooo FUCKING HoT aNd iMpaIteNcE !! i ratHeR gO foR CO oKaYs !! FUCKER NANA. wE couLdNt LeAvE aFtEr wE gOt dowN tHe sTagE bUt tT bLoOdY aSs cHeR saId oNly NeTbaLl gUrX couLd gO ; wE jUsT siMpLy waLkEd oUt oF tHe HaLl.. i doNt gIvE a FUCKING daMm iF tHe pReMa oR wateverrrrrrr wiLl scoLd / sHoUt oUt tHeIr MaD hEaDs.. yoU lEt eVeRyoNe waItEd FoR FUCKING o3 hoUrS + aNd tHeN yoU FUCKING sTaRt ! jUsT FUCK oFf ! weNt tO loT o1 aNd MeEt LipiNg aNd XiNhUi.. waLkEd a WhiLe aNd boUgHt sWeEtS bUt iT dIdNt cHeErEd mE uP.. hEaD hoMe aNd pLaNnEd FoR tMl`s MeEtiNg.. sHoWerEd aNd weNt oNliNe.. wAtChEd tV aNd MuM caMe bacK ! i FeLt sooooooooooo coLd !! tHeN weNt tO sEe doC ; iM gEtTiNg WoRsE oNly ! MayBe ; i wiLl diE ! yEaa. i wAs LikE waItiNg FoR hiS mEssagE aNd wHeN i rEcEivEd o1.. i dIdNt kNoW iF i shLd rEpLiEd.. i FeLt tT hE tReAtS mE likE a toy wHerE hE waNtS tO sMs mE tHeN hE doEs iT.. MeSsagEd szEhUi aNd aSkEd FoR hEr oPiNioN.. i rEpLiEd aNd sTaRtEd waItiNg aLl ovEr agaiN bUt ; tHerE wAsNt aNy aT aLl.. HAHAHA. WaT a BIG faT fooL aM i !? waItiNg FoR soMetHiNg wHerE iT woNt haPpeNeD.. i toLd MyseLf hE woNt sMs mE.. bUt i couLdNt CoNviNcE mYseLf ! sTiLl ; i HavE tO aCcEpT ! HAHA. fuNnY isNt ?! LaUgH aT mE ; PLS ! PLS ! bEcaUsE oF hIs MaTtEr ; i dIdNt taLkEd / LaUghEd.. i jUsT mEreLy sMiLeD wHeN i wAs sUpPosEd tOo.. i paId aTteNtioN tO eAcH lEssoNs bUt gOt pIssEd oFf eAsiLy ! SIGHS. wAt a day foR mE ! PLs sToP waItiNg FoR hIs mEssagE.. aT lEaSt iN rEtUrN ; i gOt aNotHeR EYE CONTACT wItH cute guy aNd i hEaRd tHe voIcE oF his !! HAHAHA.
GOD ; i just want to ask you WHY. WHY must you change everything in my life when i just got on the boat and it was smooth sailing ? WHY must you let me make such a harsh decision in my life when you know that one answer changes everything in my life ? WHY must you let me have the infataution feeling for someone i barely know ? do you realise that the feeling is terrible ? its killing me so much !! i really hope that the feeling will be gone away in few days time. i really hope so. i dont wish to make another regretful decision. i dont wish to lose a new friend of mine. i dont wish to. give me time to sort out all these sudden thoughts. i really need to. and i hope that i wont have the feeling of getting a message from him anymore. he`s just a NORMAL and NEW friend. nth else. i dont want to cry in front of anyone. i want to be the way i used to. i want to show that im not acting strong. im not acting habee. im truly habee. i . . but ; im not at all ! and WHY must you let me hate a new friend of me ?
WAKE UP PLS !! I BEG YOU !!
i hope mum would tell me that " i dont need to go to USA anymore. "
but ; it can never happen anymore.