Monday, June 06, 2005 3:31 PM
o6o1 .JUNE ; BUT NTH WILL CHANGE.
aFtEr i oFfLiNe tT aFtErNooN ; i wAtChEd tV foR tHe WhoLe DaY tiLl 5oo aNd cRiEd aNd cRiEd.. iM usEleSs ! cRiEd FoR ntH ! LazE aRd tO pAsS tiMe.. i dIdNt kNoW wAt tO dO.. i FeLt sO bOrEd ! bOrEd tO tEaRs !! aHhH ! i duN likE hoLs eH ! bUt i duN waNt tO gO tO sChOoL tOo ! hAd diNnEr aT 7oo aNd wAtChEd tV.. tHe hEaD oF miNe wAs SPINNING. wHeN MuM caMe hoMe.. WeNt dOwN foR sUppEr wItH hEr aNd paPa.. waLkEd hoMe FeEliNg sO FULL ! caMe oNliNe.. aFtEr o1 hoUr ; wAtChEd tV aNd hEaD tO sLeEp..
OKAYS !
i CaNt iMagiNe MyseLf waKiNg uP aT 7 + dUriNg HoLs bUt yEt iT jUsT haPpeNeD FeW hoUrs aGo ! oMigOsH ! tHeN ; i rEaLisEd tT tHe rUbBisH coLleCtEr MaChiNe wAs sO LOUD aNd oN tHe otHeR daYs ; i couLd eVeN sLeEp tiLl sO souNdLy.. HAHA. iM pRo ! -claps. i rEaD tHe NoVeL aNd sMs.. wHoa ! caNt BeLiEvE mY freNs wouLd WakE uP aT 7 + tOo ! HAHA. xpEcT foR tHe pIgs lAhX ! XP FoRcEd mYseLf tO gO bacK tO sLeEp aNd oH yA ! i dId iT ! WAHAHAHA. aFtEr aN hoUr + ; wAshEd uP aNd atE cUp NoOdLeSs FoR bReaKfasT.. NtH couLdNt bE fouNd tO wAtCh oN tV ! aNd ; i FiNisHeD wAtChiNg aLl tHe vCdS tT i WaNtEd tOo.. xpEcT foR oNe NeW sHoW i boUgHt LaSt MtH ! haHa ! i doNt DarE tO wAtCh ! iM aFraId ! iM aFraId i wouLd cRy aNd cRy ! HAHA. yA ; iM a cRyBaBy bUt NoT aS bAd aS thE pIgS lAhX ! GEE.
LETS CRY.
cO wAsNt gOoD foR mE ! i dIdNt kNoW hoW tO pLaY tHe SOLO PART ! yEaHs ! iM toTaLly sUcKs aT iT ! oH mY ! i hatE gOiNg FoR cO pRactIcEs ! aFtEr cO ; weNt tO loT o1 wItH jIa WeN tO bUy soMetHiNg ; waItEd paPa foR aBt 2o MiNs aNd WeNt foR pMt.. oKaYs ; waItEd FoR caMeL tO buLlsHiT aNd o7 ppL tO fiNisH b4 mY gEtTiNg mY rEpoRt bOoK.. SUCKS. iM sO eMbRaSsEd tO sEe mY rEsuLtS ! SIGHS. WeNt hAd diNnEr aNd hEaD hoMe.. rEaD tHe CoMiC i bOugHt tHiS aFtErNooN.. wAtChEd tV aNd caMe oNliNe.. tHeN wAtChEd tV aGaiN aNd sLeEp..
o6o2 .
i sWitchEd oFf tHe FaN aS sooN aS mY aLarM raNg bUt iT wAs jUsT tO liE foR oNly o5 MiNs bUt aN hoUr + pAsT tHeN i wOkE uP fiNdiNg mYseLf aLoNe aT hoMe.. hAd LuNcH aNd wAtChEd o2 vCds oF tHe NeW sHoW ; MR FIGHTING ! oMigOsH ! iT sO daMm MARVELLOUS !! AHHHH. sHoWerEd aNd wAtChEd aNothEr o1 beFoRe i caMe oNliNe tO bLog.. byEe !
o6o3 .
gOt uP aNd caMe oNliNe iMmEdIaTeLy tO cHeCk aBt 933 sTuFfS cOs FoR tHe PaSt FeW DaYs ; i hEaR tHe LaTe nIgHt pRogRaMmEs ; No dJ taLkiNg !! yUcKs ! sO sCaRy ! dUnNo WTF`s gOiNg oN.. sIaNz ! tHeN hAd LigHt bReaKfAsT aNd pRactIcEd yQ aN hoUr oR sO ; aFtEr tT sHoWerEd aNd WeNt oUt eArLy tO mEeT jIa WeN.. i rEaChEd TOO eArLy aNd tHe wEatHeR wAs sO HOT !! ARGHS ! hAd LuNcH tT wAsNt NICE tHeN weNt tO sChOoL aNd wE sAt aT o1 cLaSsrooM aNd bLoW faN ! cHiT cHaT aNd WeNt FoR cO.. coMbiNe wAs SUCKS. i dIdNt kNow hoW tO pLaY tHe soLo pArT bEhiNd !! ARGHS. sO HARD. sUcKs !! waItEd FoR jIa WeN aNd WeNt LoT o1.. waLkEd aRd aNd FeLt huNgRy ; sO hAd eArLy diNnEr.. waItEd wItH hEr FoR hEr MuM tO coMe tiLl sO loNg aNd tHeN i couLd hEaD hoMe.. shE aLsO sat LrT.. rEaChEd hoMe ; wAtChEd tV aNd aFtEr tHe sHoW.. WeNt dowN tO bUy paPa soMe FoOd.. atE mY sUsHi aNd sHoWerEd.. coNtiNuEd wAtChiNg tiLl 1ooo aNd caMe oNliNe.. bLog iS RUIN. aNgeLfiRe sUsPeNdEd mY aCcouNt FoR dUnNo WaT sHiT ! iM fEeLiNg sO FUCK OFF mOoD NoW ! sUcKs ! eVeRytHiNg jUsT sUcKs !!
FAMILY DAY
o6o4 & o6o5 .
HABEE BDAY FALALA. SMILES
wAs LaziNg aRd tHe hoUsE tiLl 2oo + aNd WeNt oUt wItH paReNts tO caUsEwaY aNd boUgHt soMe sTuFfs FoR o1 MtH oLd baBy.. boUgHt cHocoLatEs aNd sWeEts.. sPeNt o3 hoUrS tHerE aNd hEaD hoMe.. wAtChEd tV aNd eNd uP sLeEpiNg tiLl 7oo +.. weNt tO adaM roAd FoR nasI LaMaK ! oH mY ! iTs nIcE ! hEad hoMe aNd bLaHs bLaHs.. couLdNt FaLl asLeEp tiLl FeW miNs tO 4oo iN tHe MoRniNg ! patHetIc MaN !! aNd WeNt tHe aLarM weNt oFf aT 93o ; i wAs sUpposE tO wakE uP bUt eNd uP sLeEpiNg tiLl LiN mEssagE mE aNd aSkEd mE tO gO tO seNja sTaTioN aNd pAss tHe paNts.. PANIC. qUicKly cHaNgEd aNd bRushEd mY tEetH aNd rUshEd dOwN tHrU tHe HoT suN eArLy iN tHe MoRniNg aNd wEll ; mY mOoD wAs BAD. REAL BAD. gOt hoMe aNd sTaRtEd wAtChiNg vCd aNd hAd bReaKfaSt.. weNt tO sHoWeR aT aRd 1oo aNd wAtChEd aGaiN.. oH yA ; MuM`s iLlnEsS iS gEttiNg WORSE. SIGHS. sPeNt tHe WhoLe DaY wAtChiNg tV aNd i dId heLpEd iN cOoKiNg diNnEr.. aFtEr diNnEr ; aCcoMpaNy MuM tO sHeNg sIoNg tO gEt soMe sNacKs cOs tT KoRz wAs CoMpLaNiNg aNd aLl hE dId wAs tT.. a waLkEd tHeRe aNd bacK wAs TIRED. i hAd tHe uRgE tO cRy.. i dIdNt kNoW wHy.. i dIdNt boUgHt LoTs oF sNacKs.. i dIdNt WaNt tO wAstE moNeY.. SIGHS. pLayEd wItH XiN cHeN wHo`s tUrniNg aN yEaR oLd tHiS coMiNg sAt ! wAtChEd vCds tiLl 1oo aNd tUrNeD iN..
o6o6 .
HABEE BDAY ELENA ! GRINS.
wOkE uP aNd FouNd mYseLf aLl aLoNe aT hoMe.. hAd siMpLe bReAkFasT wHiLe wAtChiNg vCds.. pLayEd yQ aNd sHoWerEd aFtEr mY sHoW.. aFtEr tT ; pLayEd a WhiLe oUtsIdE wItH XiN cHeN.. HAHA. caMe oNliNe aNd sO mUcH tHiNg hAd cHaNgEd aFtEr o2 dAys wHeRe i dIdNt eVeN botHeR tO coMe oNliNe.. SUCKS. bAcK tO TV-WATCHING. GRINS. i just hope tt sch hols wont end. i dont even want to go back to sch. i will be more lonely than now. SIGHS.
as each day passed ; i find no more reason to go on living. im feeling so damm stuffy. i couldnt breathe. i felt so small in everyone eyes. so small that they would use me when they need me and discard me when they are done. i find tt im drifting so far apart from humans. i no longer trust anyone. i cant find anyone to confide in. even my best friends. whenever i watch tt 9oo pm show abt tt ghost show ; i really wish i could be with them. yeahs ; i know tt shows are fake. but yet ; i still take them so seriously. i believe in everyone of them. i know its stupid. but what can i do. nth. my brain and heart choose to believe in it. i couldnt bring myself to like anyone. to think for anyone. to care for anyone. to do anything for anyone. i dont believe in love anymore. my heart is empty since tt day i realised tt i had give up all the him ; him or him tt i used to like or like. theres no one i like anymore. ya ; it shld be a great news for myself. but instead ; i feel more lonely. more cold. more unhappiness filling the empty space. more thought of dying came into my mind. more thoughts tt humans are sucks. they sucks in everything. everyone of them cant be trust. i lost everything i once had. everything ! i can only be happy when im not. i can only laugh or smile when im not. i can only keep quiet when i have anything to say. my mind is too heavy for me to carry anymore. i dont want this kind of life. though ; the idols i love can make me happy. but tt only lasts tt moment. not forever. one day ; i wont like them anymore. by tt time ; my heart would be completely empty. and it would be the day i shld die. i just pray on for tt day to arrive soon. maybe tml. maybe the next min. ya. nice feeling. i told her tt i wont be liking anyone anymore. ya ; maybe. maybe tts the best way. the best way to protect myself. the best way to be cold blooded. the best way to be happy. the best way to everything. im getting away from everything. even the pig family. i dunno wat gone into me.
BLOGGING SHALL STOP FOR ME. MAYBE. I HATE TO HATE. BUT HARTRED KEPT ON COMING TO ME.